Ranger Bill
and the
Haunted Organ

written by David Dailey 
copyright 2007, David Dailey 

Knotty Pine is a great place to visit. Big Pine National forest, the Shady Mountains and the Shady River attract hundreds of visitors every year for hiking, camping fishing, boating, and much, much more. The town itself attracts many visitors as well to see its historical sites from the Wild West days and to enjoy its small town beauty and ambiance.

But people live in Knotty Pine because it is a quiet, serene community far from the cares and worries of larger cities and because of the warm, friendly way neighbors treat each other. And although Knotty Pine has had its share of excitement from time to time in the form of storms, fires, earthquakes, and even stampedes; most of the excitement is of the happy and pleasant kind.

But people, being people, have cares and concerns, fears and superstitions even here in Knotty Pine. And It was one person’s superstitious nature that made a strange and mysterious problem even more difficult in what I like to call the adventure of “The Haunted Organ.”

Bill, his mom, and Henry belong to Knotty Pine Church, which is right off the square in downtown Knotty Pine. There are several other churches in town as well. One of those churches is Forest Road Church on the edge of town not far from Ranger Headquarters. Forest Road is a relatively new congregation that was meeting in the new Grange hall but recently purchased and moved into the old Grange hall building. This small group of believers has had to do without many of the conveniences that larger churches can afford such as pews, a sound system, and an organ.

God blessed the Chapel in Central City so that they were able to purchase a brand new pipe organ for their worship services. The Chapel’s members decided to bless others as they had been blessed, so they chose to give their old electronic organ to a congregation that needed one. Their search for a needy congregation led them to offer their old organ to the flock at Forest Road Church. The folks at Forest Road happily accepted the Chapel’s generous gift.

Our story begins on a quiet Monday morning where news of Forest Road’s expected present has reached almost everyone in Knotty Pine except some rangers.

(door opens and closes)

Stumpy: Mornin’, fellas!

Bill: Good morning, Old Timer.

Gray Wolf: Morning, Stumpy.

Henry: Well, it’s about time you got here! I’m usually the last one in the office in the morning.

Stumpy: I was held up in traffic. Looks like somethin’s goin’ on down Forest Road there at the old Grange Hall. Kinda busy for a Monday mornin’. Anybody got any idea what’s happenin’ over there?

Henry: Naw, no idea at all. I thought the old Grange hall was empty.

Gray Wolf: I thought I saw something in GAZETTE about Forest Road. But I don’t remember what it was.

Bill: Maybe Rocky knows something.

Henry: Yeah, Rocky lives over that way.

(footsteps on wood floor)

Rocky: Good morning, Stumpy.

Stumpy: Mornin’, Rocky girl.

(water pouring)

Rocky: Coffee’s hot, Old Timer. Care for a cup?

Stumpy: Think I will. Thank ya.

Rocky: Did I hear my name being bandied about a few minutes ago?

Bill: Yes, you did, Rocky. Stumpy says that traffic is backed up on Forest Road. Do you know why?

Gray Wolf: Old Timer think that the old Grange hall looked like the source of the problem.

Bill: Have you heard anything, Rocky?

Rocky: Oh, yea. Forest Road Church is getting a new organ today.

Bill: I thought I knew all the churches in Knotty Pine. I don’t know Forest Road Church.

Henry: Me either. Who are they?

Rocky: Oh, you know them fellas. They were The Knotty Pine Chapel until recently.

Henry: They were meeting in the new Grange hall.

Bill: Yes, that’s right, and I’ve met their pastor – Tom, Tom Riley.

Rocky: Recently the Grange sold their old hall to the Chapel. The congregation moved into the old hall a few months ago and changed their name to Forest Road Church with the move.

Stumpy: Well, that answers the question “Who?”, but what’s this about an organ?

(water pouring into a cup)

Rocky: Here’s your coffee, Stumpy.

Stumpy: Why thank ya, Rocky. (sip) Ain’t nothin’ like a hot cup of Joe first thing in the mornin’.

Gray Wolf: I thought the GAZETTE said that organ is a gift to Forest Road Church.

Rocky: That’s right, Gray Wolf. Mountain Church in Central City received a generous financial gift which allowed Mountain to purchase a brand new pipe organ. They decided to bless as they had been blessed, so Mountain decided to give their old electronic organ to a needy body of believers. After much thought and prayer, Mountain offered their organ to Forest Road. The Forest Road flock quickly and gratefully accepted the gift. Mountain even offered to deliver their organ to Forest Road.

Bill: How do you know so much about this gift organ, Rocky?

Rocky: My neighbor is a member at Forest Road. I don’t miss a thing going on there.

Gray Wolf: How generous of Mountain!

Henry: I’ll say, Gray Wolf. I guess that’s the kind of generosity Paul was telling Timothy about.

Bill: Henry! You do listen in Bible class! Yes, Paul told Timothy to “command those who are rich (in things) to be rich in good deeds and to be generous and willing to share.”

Stumpy: The folks at Mountain were generous. That’s fer certain.

Gray Wolf: Maybe Forest Road people are having trouble getting organ from truck into building.

Bill: You’re probably right, Gray Wolf. Let’s find out. – Henry, hand me the phone book, please.

Henry: Here you go, Bill.

Bill: Thanks. (rustle of pages)
Let’s see – “F” … “FO” … Here we go.
(picking up and dialing phone)
(ring and p/u click on other end)

Rev: (telephone voice) Hello, Forest road Church, Pastor Riley speaking.

Bill: Hello, pastor. This is Bill Jefferson at Ranger Headquarters.

Rev: Bill Jefferson, it’s a pleasure speaking with you again. How can I help you?

Bill: Actually, pastor, I was wondering if you needed any help. One of my rangers tells me that you have a bit of a traffic jamb going on. Can my rangers and I assist with traffic control?

Rev: Oh, yes, I guess we could use some help with traffic, but we have a weightier problem that requires some strong backs like your rangers.

Bill: Ah, that would be your new arrival the GAZETTE mentioned this week.

Rev: Yes, that would be our organ from Mountain Church. A truck with the organ inside is sitting at the entrance to the church, but we have no one to move the organ.  It is a much heavier instrument than I expected, and although several people have come to see the organ, most are ladies or our older members, and they just aren’t able to help much.

Bill: Say no more, pastor. The church is not far from Ranger Headquarters. We can be there in a matter of minutes. See you shortly.

Rev: Thanks so much, Bill. We are simply stuck without you and your rangers. I’ll be expecting you. Good bye for now.

Bill: So long, pastor.

(phone click hanging up)

Stumpy: If I caught the drift of that conversation we’re doin’ a little traffic control.

Bill: Maybe, Old Timer. There’s an organ sitting on a delivery truck and no one there to move it.

Stumpy: Well, what are we waitin’ fer? Forest Road needs an organ. Let’s give ‘em a hand.

Gray Wolf: I’m ready for a little work for the Lord.

Bill: Rocky, care to join us?

Rocky: Love to, Bill. Let’s go.

(organ interlude)

SCENE 2

(car pulls up, stops, engine off, doors open/close, footsteps)

Stumpy: Well, here we are.

Gray Wolf: And here’s the delivery truck.

Bill: Stumpy, would you mind doing traffic control?

Stumpy: Will do. On my way!

Rev: Bill, rangers, welcome to Forest Road Church and thank you for coming.

Bill: Our pleasure, Pastor Riley.

Rev: Please, not so formal. My congregation calls me Pastor Tom, or even better just call me Tom.

Bill: Alright, Tom it is. And these are my associates, Stumpy Jenkins, Gray Wolf, Henry Scott, and the newest member of our team, Roxanne McGuire.

Rev: It’s a pleasure to meet all of you.

Stumpy: You too.

Gray Wolf: Likewise.

Henry: No problem.

Rocky: Glad to be here.

Driver: Are you rangers here to help with the organ?

Bill: Yes, we are driver.

Driver: The name’s Mac. And if you will all stand back, I’ll pull this truck up to the door.

Henry: We’re moving!

(diesel truck motor starts up/ engine revs/ squeal of brakes) 

Driver: Let me move the ramps and we can start moving.

(metallic squeal of ramps)

Driver: OK. Ready.

Stumpy: We fellas sure are…

Rocky: And lady!

Stumpy: …and lady – are all fired up and ready to give you a hand.

Bill: Thanks for the traffic control, Old Timer.

Stumpy: No problem, Bill. Now let’s move this thing.

Driver: Everybody find a place in this here organ to hang on and push.

All: (somewhat together) OK. Got it. Yep.

Driver: On “3”, start pushin’. One… Two… Three. Push!

(wheels squeaking and rolling on ramps then wood floor)

Bill: Nice and easy, folks. Where do you want this, Pastor Tom?

Rev: Go through the sanctuary door and make a right and stop near the electrical plug.

(a little more wheel squeeling and rolling on wood floor/ feet skuffling)

Bill: Almost there. Just a foot or so… Good! Right there.

Driver: Thank y’all for the help. That sure made short work of it.

Gray Wolf: Our pleasure, Mac.

Rev: My thanks as well.

Stumpy: Do I smell coffee?

Henry: I smell donuts!

Rev: The ladies have made us a little thank-you snack.

Rocky: That sounds so-o-o good.

Stumpy: Well, let’s not keep the ladies waitin’

Gray Wolf: I’m with you, Old Timer.

Henry: Yea, let’s go.

(fade out/fade in)

(walking on wood floor)

Rocky: That was way more than a simple snack. That qualified as a dinner.

Bill: Tom, please thank the ladies again for us.

Rev: Glad you all enjoyed it.

(walking stops)

Rev: The organ looks so good here in the sanctuary!

Stumpy: While we’re just standing here, why don’t we plug in this here music maker to see if she works.

Bill: That sounds like a good idea, Old Timer. What do you think, Tom?

Rev: That’s fine by me, fellas. Go ahead. Only…

Bill: Only what, Tom?

Rev: Well, Frank, our organist, is a bit funny about these things. He likes to be the one to oversee the music equipment.

Bill: What do you mean by “funny,” Tom?

Rev: Well, to be plain, I think he is a bit superstitious Frank doesn’t like anyone playing the church organ but himself. He’s afraid something will go wrong with the organ if we touch it.

Rocky: But this organ has been used for several years by someone else and it’s in great shape. What’s to go wrong?

Bill: Aren’t you being just a little superstitious about this yourself, Tom?

Rev: I guess I am, Bill. This has been such an overwhelming gift. I gues I’m afraid it will disappear somehow.

Bill: This is just a musical instrument, Tom, but do whatever you are comfortable with.

Rev: You’re right, Bill. Let’s turn it on.

Rocky: I play the organ, pastor. And I was a church organist for a while. May I try it out for you?

Rev: Please, go ahead, Roxanne.

Rocky: Just call me Rocky. Everyone does.

Rev: OK, Rocky. Give it a try.

Stumpy: I’ve got one speaker plugged in.

Gray Wolf: I’ve got the other one. Go ahead and plug in the organ,Bill.

Bill: Done. Rocky, it’s all yours.

Rocky: Here we go.

(snap of two switches turned on)
(whine of organ motors)

Rocky: Good so far.

(a few random organ keys played)
(a few chords played)

Gray Wolf: Organ appears to be working.

Stumpy: Play somethin’, little lady.

Bill: Can you play something from memory, Rocky?

Rocky: I think I can…H-m –m… Let’s see.

(organ playing any familiar hymn)

Stumpy: That was be-e-autiful, little lady.

Rev: Yes, that was just lovely, Rocky.

(quick footsteps)

Frank: Wha, wha, what’s going on here?

Rev: Frank, calm down. Everything’s fine.

Frank: But, Pastor, I specifically asked you not to touch the organ until I got to test it out first. A-a-anything might happen.

Bill: I’m sorry, sir. Frank is your name? We meant no harm.

Rev: I’m sorry, folks. Let me do the introductions. Rangers, this is our church organist, Frank Simmons. Frank, this is Knotty Pine’s chief ranger Bill Jefferson and his ranger team, Rocky McGuire, Stumpy Jenkins and Gray Wolf.

Bill: Mr. Simmons.

Stumpy: Mr. organist sir.

Gray Wolf: Pleasure to meet you.

Frank: I’m sorry, rangers. I shouldn’t act like that.

Rocky: I’m the one who apologize, Mr. Simmons. I have played the organ in the past and felt safe testing out this one.

Frank: Oh, let’s just forget it.

Stumpy: No sooner said than done, young feller.

Rev: And many thanks from me and our church for moving and assembling our organ, gentleman … and lady.

Bill: We have to be getting back to ranger headquarters and get some work done before the day passes us by.

Rev: Good morning to you then. And thanks.

Bill: And a good morning to you gents as well.

(fade out with Frank humming and playing hymns on the organ)

SCENE 3

(later that day at the mall)

Jimmy: Thanks for inviting me to the mall with you, Henry.

Henry: You’re welcome, Jimmy. Thank you for coming along to help. I couldn’t carry all this stuff by myself. All theses supplies for ranger headquarters is too heavy for one person, especially that box of paper. It’s not too heavy for you is it?

Jimmy: No, it’s not bad. I can handle it. Besides, it’s fun getting supplies for ranger headquarters. And I get to see my mom too.

Henry: That’s right. And I’ll have to thank Rocky for letting you help me.

Disk Jocky: Hey boys, how ‘bout a free pocket radio courtesy of KLD radio, the new high-powered rock station. Listen to KLD and hear a cloud of loud. That’s our slogan.

Jimmy: Wow! Yes, sir, please.

Henry: Wait a minute, Jimmy. You shouldn’t just take things from strangers.

Jimmy: But, Henry, …

DJ: Look, boys. Everything’s on the up and up. Our radio booth is down there at the other end of the mall. Check it out if you want.

Henry: Thanks, mister, we will.

DJ: And look. The radios are covered with KLD’s logo and name. Besides, these radios will only pick up KLD.

Henry: Well, I guess it’s OK then.

Jimmy: Woopee! Thanks, mister, and thank you, Henry.

DJ: By the way, I’m Rockin’ Ronnie, afternoon DJ on KLD. That’s when KLD gets really loud! We have a special license that lets KLD turn up its transmitter’s power afternoons and evenings and makes us the most powerful station in the state.

Jimmy: Wow, Mr. Rockin’ Ronnie!

Henry: I’ll say. Wow!

Jimmy: I’ll be listening.

DJ: And tell your friends about KLD, boys.

Henry: We will Mr. Ronnie. We sure will.

(footsteps on tile floor)

DJ: (louder) Remember to crank it up with the KLD cloud of loud!

SCENE 4

(Back at Forest Road Church)

(beeping of phone dialing) (ringing on other end, click of pick-up)

Mrs. Riley: (phone voice) Hello.

Rev: Hello, dear.

Mrs. Riley: Oh! Did it arrive?

Rev: Yes, dear, it’s here, and it sounds every bit as lovely as it did at Mountain Church, maybe better. Let me switch to the cordless phone and I’ll 

Mrs.: Is Frank there?

Rev.: Yes, he is. And he’s playing it right now. Let me get the cordless phone, dear, and I’ll walk out to the organ and let you listen to it.

Mrs.: Go ahead, Tom. I’d love to hear the new organ.

(Beep of cordless phone turned on)

Rev: Still there, honey?

Mrs.: Yes, Tom.

Rev: I’m on my way to Frank and the organ.

(faint organ music growing in volume)

Mrs: I can just hear it now.

Rev: Almost there.

Mrs: Did you have any trouble getting the organ inside the church?

Rev: Thank the Lord, no. Chief Forest Ranger Bill Jefferson and a few of his rangers showed up just in time to give us a big hand moving the organ off the truck and into the building. We would have been short-handed without their help.

Mrs.: What did Frank say when he tested out our new baby?

Rev: Well, dear, that was a bit of a problem.

Mrs.: Problem? What kind of a problem?

Rev: Paula, I let one of the rangers try out the organ because she’s an organist, and Frank was late.

Mrs.: Oh, Tom, you didn’t!? You know how superstitious Frank is, and how he feels about anyone else using his equipment.

Rev: I know. I know. But that’s just it. It’s just Frank’s superstitious nonsense, and I refuse to give in to that kind of thinking.

Mrs: And how did Frank react, dear?

Rev: Frank was a bit flustered by ranger McGuire playing his organ, but he calmed down right away. Maybe this is the beginning of the end of Frank’s superstitious ways.

Mrs.: I hope you’re right, Tom.

Rev: I’m here with Frank now, dear. (to Frank) Frank, this is Paula on the phone. Could you play something for her on the new organ?

Frank: My pleasure, Tom. How’s this?

( a few measures of “Go Tell It on the Mountain” or other tune)

Mrs.: Oh, Tom, that’s so lovely. Ask Frank to play some more.

Rev: Sure, dear. Let me ask Frank. Frank, would you play something else for the Mrs.?

Frank: Why sure, Tom. How’s this old favorite?

(gospel tune plays. Wrong notes start to play with correct ones.)

Rev: (jokingly) What was that, Frank? Did you forget the tune?

Frank: (angrily) I didn’t forget any such thing. I played the correct notes. This organ played additional notes on its own.

Rev: I’ll call a repairman. Something probably just got jarred loose in the moving process.

Frank: Oh, it was the moving process alright. It was that lady ranger who just had to play my organ. She’s jinxed it for me.

Rev: Frank, that’s just pure nonsense and superstition. This is an older organ that just got moved here from Central City. I’ll call a repairman right now. I’m sure he will have it fixed in no time.

(music interlude)
(later in the day at Forest Road Church)
(organ played slowly one key at a time)

Repairman: Well, pastor, Mr. Simmons, I gone over every square inch of this here machine, and I can’t find nothin’ wrong with it.

Rev: Nothing?

Repairman: Nope. Not a thing. And I can’t find any way to make it add extra note the way you said it did.

Frank: You must have overlooked something. Right?

Repairman: I don’t think so. I was extra careful seeing as this is a church organ, and y’all need it for worship services.

Frank: There! That proves my point. This organ is haunted!

Rev: Frank, stop it.

Repairman: Well, Mr. Simmons, I’ve heard of haunted houses and even haunted cars, but I never heard of a haunted organ.

Frank: Well, I say this organ is haunted, and I blame those rangers, especially that lady ranger.

Rev: Frank, that’s enough about haunted organs or haunted anything. I’m going home and having some dinner. We’ll get to the bottom of this tomorrow.

(organ starts playing rock music)

Frank: (hysterical) SEE? SEE? That organ is playing all by itself! It’s evil. I know it. Who knows what it will do next.

Rev: Here. Let me at it.

(organ winds down and dies away)

Rev: There. Some evil spirit. It can’t play an unplugged organ.

(same music on organ but faintly)

Frank: No listen. I still hear something. (Agitatedly) It’s still playing softly.

Rev: That’s it. I’m calling Bill Jefferson. Maybe he can help.

Frank: The Chief Ranger? How can he help? He and his bunch started this problem.

Rev: You don’t know whether the rangers had anything to do with this. And besides, Bill knows lots of very smart folks. Maybe he knows someone who can fix this.

(musical TA-DA)
(phone dialing, ringing, click of PU)

Bill: (phone voice) Hello, Ranger HQ, Bill Jefferson speaking.

Rev: Bill, I’m glad I caught you. This is Tom Riley from Forest Road Church.

Bill: Pastor Tom, your timing is perfect. I was just about to close up the office for the day. What can I do for you? And how’s that new organ?

Rev: That’s why I’m calling. We’re having a real problem with the organ. It’s playing all by itself.

Bill: You mean there’s a bad key or two that need to be fixed?

Rev: No, nothing like that at all.

Bill: No?

Rev: No. I mean this thing is playing some kind of weird music on its own. It even sounds like some kind of rock music at times..

Bill: You’re kidding. Aren’t you, Tom?

Rev: I wish I was, Bill, but I’m not. You can even hear this weird music faintly when the organ is turned all the way off.

Bill: No!

Rev: Yes. Could you, would you help? Or do you know anyone who might help?

Bill: Tom, I’ll be glad to do whatever I can. And I do think I know someone who might be able to help, Herman Schmidt. I’m sure I can get him to come to the church first thing in the morning.

Rev: Thank you, Bill.

Bill: I’m sure Herman can help. He knows organs like the back of his hand.

Rev: I’ll be expecting you in the morning.

Bill: Till then, Tom. Bye.

(phone hang-up)
(music interlude)
(sound of door opening/closing, footsteps)

Alice (Secretary): Good morning, gentlemen. Good to see you again Mr. Jefferson. How may I help you?

Bill: Hello, Alice. This is Herman Schmidt. I’ve brought him here to check out the problems in your new organ.

Alice: Thanks for coming Mr. Schmidt, and welcome. I hope you can fix our problem.

Herman: I will give it my best effort, Miss Alice.

Rev: Bill! Good to see you. Thanks for coming.

Bill: Tom, this is Herman Schmidt, the best organ repairman I know. Herman, this is Rev. Tom Riley.

Herman: (German accent) Bill, you give me a swelled head. But thank you for the compliment. Nice to meet you, Pastor.

Rev: Nice to meet you as well, Herman. Do you think you can help?

Herman: I don’t know for sure. Let me give the organ a good look first.

Frank: You mean our haunted organ?

Herman: Excuse me.

Rev: That’s enough of that, Frank. Bill, you’ve met Frank.

Bill: Oh yes.

Rev: Herman, this is Frank Simmons, our superstitious church organist. Frank, you know Bill, and this is Herman Schmidt, organ repairman.

Herman: Well, gentlemen, let’s get a look at this (laughing) haunted organ.

Rev: Right this way, Herman. Alice, please hold my calls.

Alice: Yes, Pastor.

(footsteps of 4 men on wood floor)
(momentary silence)

Bill: I’ve got pretty good ears, Tom, and I don’t hear any of the weird music you mentioned – even faintly.

Herman: Me either. Not a note.

Rev: Gentlemen, I assure you that Frank and I both heard that music yesterday.

Frank: Absolutely. We heard sounds coming from this thing with the organ on and faintly with it off.

Bill: Maybe whatever made your niose yesterday is gone. Let’s turn the organ on and see what happens.

Frank: Alright. Here goes.

(two switch clicks) (winding up of organ motors)

Herman: All I hear are the organ motor and fan running. Does that sound like any of the noises you heard?

Frank: No, definitely not. We heard organ notes played, and it sounded like rock music.

Rev: Yes, I agree with Frank. It was definitely music of some kind.

Bill: I still don’t hear anything strange or weird, music or not.

Herman: Me either.

Rev: Herman, now what?

Herman: Pastor, let me give this machine a full inspection and a tune-up, and maybe I’ll find your problem. I have everything I need right here in my tool box.

Rev: Herman, we can’t afford to pay you for all this. We could have afforded this organ if it wasn’t a gift.

Herman: Then please consider my time a gift as well, Pastor. It would be my pleasure to help Forest Road Church solve this mystery and enjoy this lovely organ.

Rev: That’s very generous of you, Herman! Thank you. When would you like to start?

Herman: How about right now?

Rev: Great. Is ther anything we can do for you?

Herman: How about a large cup of coffee?

Rev: Done.

Herman: Then if you all will leave me alone for a while, I will get started. 

Frank: Good luck, Herman.

Bill: Enough about good and bad luck, Frank. How about “God be with you” instead?

Herman: That’s good, Bill. Now, if you’ll let me get to work.

(music interlude)

Rev: Here’s your large coffee, Herman. Find anything yet?

Herman: Nothing yet, Pastor. But I have much more work to do.

(music interlude)

Bill: More coffee, Herman?

Herman: No, thank you, Bill.

Bill: How’s it coming? Find anything yet?

Herman: I am all done with the tune-up and inspection, Bill. Let me speak to Pastor Tom and Mr. Simmons.

(music interlude)

Rev: What is it, Herman? What did you find?

Herman: Nothing!

Frank: Nothing?

Herman: I am sorry, but yes, I found nothing wrong with the organ. It is in excellent shape. The previous owner obviously took very good care of this machine.

Bill: But what about the sounds they heard yesterday?

Herman: Again, I can find nothing. I could not get this little lady to utter a single note that I did not play myself.

Rev: Nothing at all?

Herman: I’m sorry, Pastor. Not a note.

(Weird organ music playing faintly)

Frank: Listen! Listen!! There it is – that weird music. The organ IS haunted.

Bill: Let’s go see!

(running feet) (wrenches rattling)

Bill: What can you tell us, Herman?

Herman: (frustrated) Nothing.

Bill: You don’t mean it.

Herman: I do. It’s true. This organ is in perfect condition – no shorts or bad circuits or anything I can find.

(Music fades out)(silence)

Frank: It’s gone! Now we’ll never find it!

Herman: No not today, Mr. Simmons. I’m sorry.

Rev: Now what can we do?

Bill: I’m not licked yet, Tom. I’ll find something somewhere. Some one has to have a key to this.

(music interlude)
(Back at Ranger HQ)

Bill: Rocky, have you seen the phone book?

Rocky: Yes, it’s over here, Bill. Here you go.

Bill: Thanks.

(pages rustling)(phone dialing, ringing)

Rocky: Who are you calling?

Bill: Professor Black at State U.

Rocky: What does he teach?

Bill: Electronics.

Secretary: (phone voice)  State University Electronics Department. How may I help you?

Bill: Professor Black, please.

Sec.: One moment, please.

(ringing, p/u click)

Black: Hello, Professor Black speaking.

Bill: Chuck, Bill Jefferson.

Black: Bill, good to hear from you! To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?

Bill: I’ve got a haunted organ.

Chuck: Haunted organ?! You’re kidding, right?

Bill: Yes (laughing), I am kidding about the haunted part. But I do have an organ that’s giving everyone fits.

Chuck: What’s wrong with it?

Bill: A church here in Knotty Pine just got an used electronic organ that plays weird music all by itself from time to time. You can even hear the music softly when the machine is off. Can you think of anything that might cause this problem?

Chuck: I’m not sure, Bill. It doesn’t sound like any kind of electronic oe electrical problem that I’m familiar with. But…

Bill: But what, Chuck?

Chuck: It does sound like harmonics, like when one tuning fork will set off another fork of the same or multiple frequency.

Bill: What could do that to an organ, old boy?

Chuck: That I couldn’t say for sure, Bill? But whatever is causing the problem will probably affect other things in a similar way. Keep you eyes open for anything else acting in a similar manner. That will probably give you a clue to solving your dilemma.

Bill: Thanks, Chuck. I’ll keep my eyes wide open. Bye.

Rocky: Haunted organ? What’s that all about?

Bill: Forest Road Church’s organ is doing some strange things, and Frank Simmons says that it’s haunted. A repairman and Herman Schmidt can’t find the problem, so I called an electronics prof for advice.

Rocky: Did the professor have any ideas?

Bill: All he could suggest was to find something else acting in a similar way for a key to the prblem’s source.

Rocky: That’s not much help, but it is time to close up for the day. Want me to lock up?

Bill: No thanks, Rocky. Go home. I’ve still got a little paperwork to finish.

Rocky: I’m waiting for Jack and the kids. They’re picking me up today.

(car wheels driving in gravel)( running feet)

Katie, Jimmy: Hi, Mom. Let’s go home.

Rocky: There’s someone else here, you two. How about a hello for him?

Katie, Jimmy: Bill!

Bill: Hi kids. Good to see you. How was school today?

Katie: (muffled) OK.

Bill: What’s that, Katie? I couldn’t hear you.

Katie: (louder) OK.

Bill: Why so quiet? Still getting used to your braces?

Katie: Yes.

Rocky: Actually, Bill, she’s doing better most of the time, but now she has a new problem. She’s hearing things in her mouth.

Bill: Noises?

Katie: Yes.

Bill: What kind of noises, Katie? The air whistling in your mouth?

Katie: No, not whistling. Sometimes I hear talking or music, but not all the time. Just some of the time when I wear my retainer at night.

Bill: H-m-m. Rocky, Katie, do me a favor. 

Rocky: What, Bill?

Bill: When you get home, Katie, wear your retainer as much as you can this evening. Keep it on all evening long if possible. Rocky, call me if Katie hears anything at all.

Rocky: OK, Bill. Do you suspect something?

Bill: I’m not sure yet, Rocky, but Katie may be the key I’m looking for, and we might be able to fix her problem and Forest Road’s at the same time.

Rocky: See you in the morning, Bill. I’ll call if Katie hears anything.

Bill: Thanks, Rocky. Good luck, Katie.

(fade out to silence)
(fade in at Rocky’s Home)

Rocky: What do you have planned for dinner tonight?

Jack: Nothing in particular. How about spaghetti?

Rocky: Sounds good. Katie, go put on your retainer, please?

Katie: Right, Mom.

Jack: Why is Katie putting her retainer on before bedtime?

Rocky: Bill hopes Katie will hear more sounds, and that will give him a clue to what they are and how to get rid of them.

Jack: Bill doesn’t think this is just a little girl’s imagination?

Rocky: Bill didn’t rule that out.

Katie: Mommy, I put on my retainer, and I hear sounds.

Rocky: OK, honey. I’ll call Bill.

(click of phone p/u, dialing, ringing, p/u other end)

Bill: (Phone voice) Hello, Bill speaking.

Rocky: Bill, it’s Rocky. Katie is hearing sounds right now.

Bill: I’ll be right over.

(fade out/ fade in)
(Rocky’s house)
(door bell)
(creek of door opening)

Rocky: Bill – thanks for coming over.

Bill: Not a problem. Thanks for getting Katie to put on that retainer.

Rocky: I just hope it tells us something. Let me get Katie. (louder) Katie, come here, please.

Katie: I’m here, mommy. Oh, hi again Bill.

Bill: Still hearing your noises, Katie?

Katie: Yeah. There still in my head.

Bill: OK, now go ahead and take the retainer off.

Katie: Free again.

Bill: Now do you hear any noises, voices, or music?

Katie: Nope. All gone.

Bill: Now put the ratiner back on.

Katie: Do I have to?

Rocky: Yes, dear. Do what Bill says.

Katie: OK. (pause) There it’s on and I hear music, rock.

Bill: That’s good, Katie. You can take your retainer off. I’m done experimenting with you for now.

Rocky: You can go, honey. Thank you.

Katie: Great. I want some dinner.

Rocky: What do you think, Bill?

Bill: I’m not sure, Rocky, but if I didn’t know better, I say Katie’s retainer is acting like an antenna. But let me sleep on it. Maybe I’ll think of something by morning. Now It’s time for me to get back to my dinner as well.

(fade out/fade in)
(back at Bill’s house)

Mom: Bill dear, I kept your dinner warm. Come and sit down.

Bill: Thanks, Mom. I wouldn’t miss your lasagna for the world.

Mom: Why thank you, dear. You’ve always been a good eater.

Bill: And you’ve always been a great cook.

Henry: Bill, you’re back. I tried to leave you some dinner but it was too tasty.

Bill: (sarcastically) Ha, ha. Too late. Mom’s already getting me some lasagna. What’s that hanging from your ear, pal?

Henry: It’s a radio. There’s a new radio station, KLD. They were giving away these radios as ads for their new station and high-power transmitter. Here. See? Jimmy and I both got them at the mall the other day.

Bill: H-m-m. KLD, the Cloud of Loud.

Henry: And they’re not kidding. Listen.

(rock music from radio earbud)

Bill: Wow! That’s rock music alright. It just about rocks me out of this chair. But that’s a pretty small radio for such a big sound.

Henry: That’s because the station is so powerful. They have the most powerful transmitter in the state by far.

Bill: Henry, you may have given me the key to a real mystery.

Henry: I have?

Bill: I need to call, Rocky.

(fade out/fade in)

Rocky: Hello.

Bill: (phone voice) Rocky, this is Bill.

Rocky: What is it?

Bill: Are you eating?

Rocky: We’re done. We’re just cleaning up.

Bill: Henry showed me a little radio he got at the mall the other day. He said Jimmy got one too.

Rocky: Oh boy, did he. I have a hard time getting Jimmy to turn that radio off. He even brought it to the dinner table with him.

Bill: Good. I hate to disturb your meal, but would you ask Katie to put her retainer on one more time and listen to that radio at the same time.

Rocky: OK, Bill. But why?

Bill: I hope you’ll see in a minute.

Rocky: Katie, this is Bill. He wants you to put your retainer on once more, please.

Katie: OK, Mommy.

(quick footsteps)
(pause)

Katie: OK. I’m back and I hear those noises. It sounds like music.

Rocky: Bill, Katie has her retainer on and she hears sounds.

Bill: OK. Now ask her to listen to Jimmy’s radio.

Rocky: Alright, Bill. Katie, pick up Jimmy’s new radio there and listen to it.

Katie: Alright. Hey, this sounds like my retainer noises. 

Rocky: Bill, did you hear that?

Bill: I sure did. I was hoping she would say that.

Rocky: Bill, you’ve got that sound in your voice. You’ve figured out Katie’s problem.

Bill: Not quite, Rocky. But Katie did provide me with another key to the mystery. Let me make a few calls, and I’ll let you know what I’ve learned.

(music interlude)
(next morning at Forest Rd. Church)

Bill: Is everyone present and accounted for?

Stumpy: Stumpy present.

GW: I here as well.

Rocky: The McGuire ladies are present.

Rev: Pastor Tom here.

Bill: Where is Mr. Simmons?

Rev: Here comes Frank.

Frank: (puffing) Sorry I’m late.

Bill: You’re just in time, Mr. Simmons. Katie, put your retainer on, please.

Katie: On, and I hear those sounds.

Bill: Good, honey. Stand by.

Stumpy: The Forest Road organ is plugged in, and I hear sounds, Bill.

Bill: Unplug the organ, Old Timer.

Stumpy: Done

Bill: Gray Wolf, the wire, please.

GW: Here is ground wire. It is attached to copper stake outside.

Bill: Good. Now bolt the wire to the organ frame.

(sound of wrenches ratcheting)

GW: Done.

Bill: Plug the organ back into the electrical socket.

Stumpy: Hey. No strange organ sounds yet.

Bill: Turn the organ on, Mr. Simmons.

Frank: Done. No weird music, rock or otherwise.

Bill: And you shouldn’t hear anything you don’t play yourself. The haunted organ should be no more.

Rev: Bill, you fixed our organ … with that wire? That’s all it took? How? Why?

Bill: Tom, listen to this little radio. It’s tuned to KLD radio, the Cloud of Loud.

Tom: These voices and music are our strange organ noises?

Bill: Yes. What you heard the organ play were muffled and distorted broadcasts from that station. KLD’s signal is the most powerful in the state. Its transmission antenna is near Knotty Pine in the Shady Mountains. Knotty Pine is the closest town to their antenna . The combination of a strong radio signal reflected off the Shady Mountains and weather conditions that held the radio waves near the ground made some electrical equipment…

Frank: Like the church organ?

Bill: And some metal objects …

Katie: Like my retainer?

Bill: Absorb and resonate KLD’s signal so that they were audible even without a radio and even without a power source.

Rev: Like those old crystal radios I used to play with when I was a kid.

Bill: That’s it, Tom.

Stumpy: But when the weather changes do them radio signals go away?

Bill: Yes, Old Timer. The sounds go away. But when the weather changes again those some sounds will probably come back.

GW: So we ground organ to drain off signal?

Bill: Right, Gray Wolf. The ground wire will keep those haunting sounds from ever coming back.

Katie: But what about me, Ranger Bill?

Bill: I haven’t forgotten about you, Katie. Your dentist gave me a special plastic retainer with no metal parts so you won’t be an antenna any more.

Katie: No more spooky sounds?

Bill: No more spooky sounds.

Katie: Mom, can I keep my old metal retainer?

Rocky: Why sure, honey. But why?

Katie: Well, now that I’m not haunted, I kinda like the music. It’s fun being your own radio. I feel like a bionic woman.

(whole group laughs)

Rev: Frank, how ‘bout a little praise music to celebrate and to praise and thank our Lord?

Frank: I have a better idea. Ranger McGuire, uh, Rocky, would you honor us by playing our organ? I can think of no better way to thank the Lord.

Bill: Well said, Mr. Simmons - I’m sorry, Frank.

Rocky: I’d love to play, Frank.

(closing praise hymn)

Bill: And, boys and girls, remember to trust the Lord and not fear the spooky things in your life. See you next week for more RANGER BILL!!!

THE END

Copyright 2007 by David Dailey